My downstairs neighbor (you know, Crazy Lady) has taken a liking to me, and thus starting calling me by a new pet name: Devil. Yes, I apparently am the Devil.
So, Aunt Heide, making sure she is fulfilling her duties as Godmother, sent me this:
along with devil horns, and a letter. The letter states:
I am afraid I must step in as your Godmother and let you know of my profound disappointment that you have spurned your Christian upbringing and become a child of the devil.
The only explanation I can conceive of is that you are temporarily possessed by the noxious presence emanating from the unholy depths beneath your condo.
Therefore, I've taken matters into my own hands and must insist you read the annotated portions of the enclosed book, so you will recognize in you and seek to rid yourself of its presence.
Try this exercise/exorcise: Go into your guest bedroom, stomp twice, and then hurl the book to the floor. At that point, you will awaken the devil within, and it will expel itself from your being and flee to the condo below, from whence it came and where it rightfully resides.
If that fails, please open the little package [the devil horns] and have fun.