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If y'all haven't heard, I joined an online dating website.
I'm that desperate.
Just kidding, as I know a ton of people who have met their significant others via online dating. I told my friend Emily (a med student, although she's classy so her profile says she's in "professional school") about my experiences and she decided to join me (as soon as she gets good stories, she'll guest post!). We didn't want to have to pay for the service so we joined OKCupid, and, well, you get what you pay for.
Today's story is a reprint of an email I received from a man who we'll call "Drew" (names changed to protect the ridiculous). Drew responded to my profile with this gem of an email:
Hey, cute pictures! I like your profile and I think I'd like to get to
know you better... So I can see that okcupid says we're a good match but
I've designed some questions of my own to see how compatible we are.
Let's see how you do (make me proud!).
Impress me (no Googling allowed):
1. Can you name 5 countries in the world with 4 letters in their name?
2. If you could, would you take a job you hate that pays $1 million per year – you have to do it for at least fifteen years?
3. What would be your perfect Saturday?
Impress me (no Googling allowed):
1. Can you name 5 countries in the world with 4 letters in their name?
2. If you could, would you take a job you hate that pays $1 million per year – you have to do it for at least fifteen years?
3. What would be your perfect Saturday?
I responded ('cuz I'm nice and feel guilty if I don't) by telling him that they all have four letters in their name (or more) and his answer was that he would permit our conversation to continue, "even if [I] didn't quite get the 1st one."
I'm not a clinician, but I think we can analyze Mr. Drew pretty accurately:
1. He's cocky!
2. He clearly thinks he's a badass.
3. We are not compatible.
Got any good (err, bad) online dating stories? Leave a comment if you'd like to guest post about your experience!
34 comments:
Love this! I joined plenty of fish and got quite a few weird ones. Once I got an email from girl asking if I wanted to have threesome with her and her boyfriend. My profile said I was looking for long term and am straight. And she filled the email with all this flattery. Like you I had to reply because I feel bad if I don't. I just told her I was very flattered but no (more polite of course). But yes, online dating is very interesting. I've definitely gotten quite a few weird things asked of me. Haha.
oh dear, he's for real? So, so weird. I think your analysis is a pretty good one!
Too funny! I met my husband online! We don't tell people about it too much because we tend to get strange looks, but we've been married 4 years (in a few weeks) and together for just about 5!
ahahaha what a TOOL. seriously. haha.
Props to you for being a nice person and responding in the first place. I woulda shot him down ASAP.
bahaha love it! my friends went through a phase where they allllll were on OKCupid. I was actually kind of jealous, just because all the ridiculous messages they got were so so funny. I actually came up with three countries, off the top of my head, with only four letters in their name and then read your answer and was like, oh duh, I bet it's a trick question. So I'm on your team with that one!
Tool bag.
Although I found a great one from match.com, I dealt with SEVERAL ridiculous ones. (Not in-person but they are online ones) Oh gosh-I think I have the best one for ya. Let's chat.
oh lord...the people you hear from online...
haha this is too funny! Love it!
xxS
I met my husband on plentyoffish.com and we've been together almost 7 years. With the free sites there's more people to go through, but they're just as good as the pay sites. You'll get people like that on the pay sites too so at least you're not paying to read emails from weirdos.
What a puts. I was on Match.com. It seemed like everytime I signed up for a site...they were only looking for 'poo-tang.' *sigh* NOT what I'm looking for....
My bestie is on plenty of fish and she has met quite a few good ones...and weirdos too :)
I would say that your analysis is spot on! Wouldn't he be a gem to hang around with!? "I'm sorry, your answer is invalid because I am smarter than you always." Delightful.
I give you props for responding to his message. Once I would have seen those questions, I would have been deleting the message...quickly. :-)
I say: MEET HIM! lol I will make sure to be in the same restaurant/coffee shop spying on you to make sure you don't get rooffied/raped. Then, write another blog post about the adventure (and I will upload the surveillance video/photos. ;)
oh my gosh hilarious.
OH YES i have one. I'm on Christian Mingle...yup.
I had a guy ask me if i wore ballet flats...i'm all "maybe he's asking if i dance" my friends are all flailing their arms around screaming "FREAK FREAK!" i respond nicely...yes....he responds "Awesome, would you mind wearing them so i could sit on your feet?"
I died, well threw up then died.
EW
So i'm glad we both have creepy stories.
OH I HAVE TONS MORE than just the creepy foot guy bahaha
He has no sense of humor...pass! I feel like you'd be saying witty/hilarious things and he'd either give you blank stares or forced laughter.
men are such idiots sometimes! I hope you meet at least one nice guy on here, but until then, keep posting the crazies!
Oh my lord...I agree that online dating works, but dude...you should've made up some questions and sent them to him! Annoying cocky guys are the worst.
The one and only online date I ever went on was with a very nice guy, but he had a really bad stutter (like, face convulsing when he couldn't get the words out)! He didn't tell me about it until we were actually on the date. I felt really shallow because I was surprised by it, but everyone tells me he should have given me a heads up! We weren't compatible for more than that (and his stutter did improve the less nervous he got), but that was definitely an interesting experience. Oh, and did I mention he did a Donald Duck & Mickey Mouse impression right in the middle of our dinner date? Awkward.
Good luck to you. Wish I could tell you that I had great success but I did not. I tried both match and eharm and both were . . . ugh! I guess this is why I'm still single! We need to do a blogger match maker service. Haha
As always, Mom's favorite questions are:
What kind of student is he; does he get good grades?
Is he in involved in activities or sports at school?
Does he have lots of friends?
What do his parents do?
Might not be appropriate questions for an adult, but inquiring minds want to know!
Oh my goodness! I'm seriously hoping he's just got a really dry sense of humor that doesn't translate well online...or else he sounds like a major jerk!
Lol funny stuff. I've considered joining just for the fun but the thought of online dating is screepy to me..
What an ass! Impress me?? Spare me! I would have asked him, "What would you do for a Klondike bar?"
He needs to get some better game, seriously. Def not a winner! Good luck. :) can't wait to hear more
Oh my! This cracks me up, because seriously who is that ridiculous and arrogant!?
Thanks for stopping by my blog and following along. Excited to read more and get to know you better!
That's amazing. How witty of you to come back with that! Can't wait to hear more stories!
Hahaha....ohhh girl! I love this.
Is it strange that I sometimes miss my online dating days? Maybe this is going to sound cocky...but I seriously felt like I was cut out for it. Filling out self-surveys, engaging in witty repartee and reading through creep mail? It's like...all the fun of the real world without leaving your home. ;)
Unfortunately all the guys I met were douches. BUT! But, I think this is because I thought it was wise to stick to Christian dating sites. Nope. It seems the Christian men are the douches with terrible double standards.
Rest assured, I know plenty of people who met + married really nice guys through dating sites. None of them through Christian dating sites, though... ;)
this made me laugh - no wonder he's single! And the story about the guy and the ballet pumps in your comments - hahahaha!! Stick it out for a bit! I met my partner on match.com (but like someone further up this comment list, we don't often mention it because people still thinki t's strange, even though the world and his wife seem to be on them!) and my best friend met her husband on the site - we joined together as a giggle, because we were fed up of singledom but also thought that it'd be funny to see/read some of the guys on there. And it was. There were definitely some oddballs! I met one guy on there who seemed perfectly normal etc. so we agreed to meet up for a drink - THE MOST BORING SELF OBSESSED person ever! All he could talk about was his job and BMW, I got an emergency text and fled! But, it was all worth it in the end :)
Hahaha! Oh my gosh, hilarious. Please keep these coming!
Dude seriously, I LOVE your answer to the first question. He is a douchebag of the first degree. And so condescending.
HAHAHA - oh man. Crazy!
I did go on Christian Mingle. Haha. I met this guy there, he came across as "perfect" online, then we went on a date in person. Um, no. He was so incredibly awkward, and so incredibly desperate. He told me this was amazing, i was the one for him, on our FIRST date! And asked if he could kiss me several times - my answer was no - because the thought of kissing him made me want to throw up in my mouth! He wasn't ugly - he was just WEIRD.
Funniest thing I've read all day!! He would "permit" your conversation to continue? Ha!! This too much. I'm so glad you're making this a weekly feature!
LOL what a weirdo! I guarantee you'll encounter more "Drew's"...unless "Ryan" turns out to be a pretty great guy ;)
I get the stupidest replies from some guys like really, I think most rememberale date from the online world was this one..
http://adayinthelifeofmektt.blogspot.com/2012/07/date-from-hell.html
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