OKCupid Catastrophes: More Hilarity from Amy and a Bad First Date

It's Wednesday, which means it's time for another bad online dating story! I gave y'all a sweet story last week about Emily from Dirt and Pearls who met her husband via online dating (even after he forgot where he parked his car on their second date), so I don't feel about about giving you two not-so-great experiences.

First off, Amy's back with another hilarious story. 

I had this incredibly cute guy IM me on Christian Mingle one day and I got all so excited and girly (I even took a screenshot and sent it to my roommate; don’t judge, if you saw him you’d be taking screenshots also!). He was telling me how he wanted to go to school to become a pastor and how he was going to be leading baptism the upcoming Sunday, which I thought was a good sign. This guy then goes into this long schpeel about practicing baptism on me. Umm...what? I was really, really confused. After a few minutes of explaining to him that I am a Christian and have already been baptized, he then blasted me for not allowing him the opportunity to practice baptism and that I should really "check my walk with the Lord." I dont know what Jesus you’re chillin’ with, buddy, but I’m out. I quickly closed that chat and blocked him. The thought of this conversation still makes me laugh and creeps me out all in one fatal swoop.

Oh, Amy. At least he didn't have a foot fetish, right?!

My story is a little less exciting and a little more disappointing.

When I first joined OKC, my highest match percentage with anybody in Waco was a guy I used to call Hottie Barista, a guy working at Starbucks while going to seminary. Hottie Barista was, well, attractive, plus he once gave me free coffee the week after Chris died (without me ever once mentioning this story) so I kind of had a thing for him without ever really knowing him. I sent him a witty email ('cuz I'm humble, yo) that said something along the lines of, "Hottie Barista [with his actual name], how are you still single?!" He sent back something that made me laugh and was appropriately charming, so we emailed a little before he gave me his number. I texted him hello, and he almost immediately asked me to meet him for lunch the following afternoon. I said yes, and he asked me to meet him at an on-campus cafeteria.

Let me point out that I have no problem with wanting to eat at a cafeteria. I'm low-key enough that I wasn't phased, although I was doubting my ability to appropriately dress for the occasion (my bestie Matt helped).  

Anyway, we meet the next day at the dorm cafeteria, and we start out with conversation. It wasn't bad conversation per se, it just...was. I accidentally interrupted him once during the longest.story.ever. (my bad, but to my defense, it just kept going), and then I accidentally let it slip that Chelsea had just passed away (which had happened literally two days prior). Let me just say that for someone who has a seminary degree, he kind of sucked at conversation once I said that (and for the record, I tried not to tell him but it just kind of slipped after he asked how my week was).

And this was just the conversation. Because he got free meal swipes as part of his job (which is why we went to the dorm cafeteria), he was what you'd call a Regular at that particular cafeteria. And again, no problem with that, until everybody and their mom came up during our conversation to interrupt, or join, or awkwardly talk about shaving the back of their legs. Guys, I'm not even kidding. 

Needless to say when he didn't return my "Hey, thanks for the lunch" text, I wasn't broken-hearted about it. Guess Hottie Barista wasn't much more than hot, eh?

Tune in every Wednesday where I post the good, the bad, and the ugly of online dating! If you can't wait that long, check out Kaitlyn's blog, Little's blog, or the Beauty from Ashes blog because they all blog about their online dating (or, in BfA's case, found her husband via online dating)! If you have any good stories about online dating and you want to be featured, let me know by emailing me or leaving a comment!